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Sentence of the Week #21

By Barbara Gastel | 28 February 2013

[From Michelle Yeoman and Barbara Gastel:]

Editing Solution: Last Week's Sentence

Our compliments to the person who posted a response last week and to the others who had the correct solution. As a reminder, below is Sentence of the Week #20:

Last week Dr. Green lead the seminar.

The problem in this sentence is the word lead, which should be led. Thus, the corrected sentence reads as follows:

Last week Dr. Green led the seminar.

Once again, the problem regards homonyms. Both led (the past tense of the verb lead) and lead (a heavy metallic element) are pronounced led. Therefore authors often confuse the two.

We hope this solution has led some readers to new understanding.

And now, onward to this week’s sentence.

Sentence of the Week #21

Welcome to the newest installment in this series. 

The sentence below has 1 definite error:

Hiding in a corner, Marcus retrieved the mouse.

Please correct the error, and submit the corrected sentence and any remarks as a comment on this post. We plan to provide and discuss the solution as a comment in about 2 days, as well as including it in the next Sentence of the Week post.

Do you have a sentence that you would like us to consider using as the Sentence of the Week? Please e-mail submissions to Michelle at msyeoman@gmail.com with the subject line “Sentence of the Week”. Submissions should be your own work—don’t nominate a colleague’s writing :). 

Please also feel free to e-mail suggestions relating to this series.

 

 

Sentence of the week

Posted by Abiodun Egbetokun at 28 February 2013 09:48 AM

The sentence is ambiguous. At first glance it is unclear if it was Marcus or the mouse hiding in a corner, but the word 'retrieved' clarifies that. I would render the sentence simply as 'Marcus retrieved the mouse from the corner where it was hiding'

This Week's Solution

Posted by Barbara Gastel at 01 March 2013 06:34 PM

Here is this week's solution. Our compliments to the person who posted a response and to others who came up with the correct solution. And our thanks to Michelle Yeoman for preparing the following solution and discussion:

As a reminder, below is Sentence of the Week #21: Hiding in a corner, Marcus found the mouse.

The error in this sentence is the placement of the phrase "hiding in a corner", which should be moved. Thus, a possible solution reads as follows: Marcus found the mouse hiding in a corner.

The phrase "hiding in a corner" is a modifier. Modifiers are words, phrases, and clauses that describe another word in a sentence. A dangling modifier occurs when the object of the modifier is unclear.

Because Marcus appears immediately afterward, the phrase "hiding in a corner" seems to describe Marcus. It is unlikely that Marcus was hiding in a corner (unless he’s afraid of mice). To avoid confusion, the phrase should be moved closer to its object, the mouse.

Sometimes a dangling modifier occurs because the subject of the phrase is missing. (Example: “While away at a conference, the laboratory flooded.”) In this case, adding the correct subject removes ambiguity. (Example: “While the investigator was away at a conference, the laboratory flooded.”)