“Diseased Science”: Some Humorous Definitions

Greetings again. I hope you’re doing well.

Last week while walking back from teaching, I noticed a colorful poster on a laboratory door. The poster was titled “Diseased Science”. It contained humorous definitions of “diseased” behavior of researchers.

The poster was based on an article in Microbe magazine. Here are some of the definitions in the article:

• “Appendiceal Hypertrophy. A relatively new condition that first became manifest when journals began to allow supplementary data. Authors suffering from appendiceal hypertrophy stuff their papers with supplementary data irrespective of its relevance . . . ”
• “Honorrhea. An obsession with seeking or receiving awards. . . . ”
• “Impact Factor Mania. Also known as impactitis . . . . A condition in which the perceived value of scientific work is based on the impact factor of the journal where the work is published rather than the content of the work itself . . . .”
•  “Obsessionis Curriculum Vitae (OCV). An unhealthy preoccupation with the length of one’s resume. . . .”
• “Polyauthoritis. An emerging disease involving manuscripts in which the number of authors exceeds the number of data points.”

Also, as someone giving courses and workshops on communicating research, I was pleased to see the following definition:

• “Obfuscous Incommunicado (OI). A condition characterized by the inability of an individual to express themselves clearly. Afflicted individuals speak of write only in incomprehensible jargon-laden prose. . . . Potentially treatable through courses and workshops on scientific communication.”

If you enjoyed these definitions, I encourage you to look at the entire article, which includes many others.

Until the next post—

Barbara